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How to Deal With a Stubborn Child

  • blogstutorology
  • Jun 24
  • 2 min read

We’ve all encountered that child—the one who seems to dig in their heels every time we ask them to do something. Whether it’s a simple request like brushing their teeth or a more significant task, they seem determined to say no. While this can be a huge challenge, it’s important to understand that a stubborn child isn’t being difficult just for the sake of it. They might be demonstrating their independence or testing their boundaries, which, while frustrating, is a natural part of their development.


Why Children Can Be Stubborn:

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  • Desire for independence: As children grow, they start to assert their independence and learn to make decisions for themselves. For strong-willed children, this can mean challenging authority or resisting what they’re being told to do.

  • Testing limits: Children want to know where the boundaries lie. By pushing back against you, they’re not necessarily being defiant, but rather testing how far they can go.

  • Control: Kids often feel more in control of their world when they can say “no.” It gives them a sense of power and autonomy, which is important for their development.


What Works to Handle Stubbornness:


  • Offer choices: Rather than giving commands, try offering choices. For example, “Do you want to wear your red shirt or your blue one today?” This gives them a sense of control, which reduces resistance.

  • Stay consistent: Strong-willed children thrive on consistency. If you set boundaries, it’s important to enforce them without wavering. Over time, they’ll learn to respect the rules, even if they resist at first.

  • Provide positive reinforcement: Instead of focusing only on the times they’re stubborn, reinforce moments when they’re cooperative. Positive feedback will encourage them to repeat those behaviors.

  • Be calm and firm: Don’t escalate the situation by getting upset. Stay calm and stick to your request. Children learn that their resistance won’t change the outcome, and this can help reduce future power struggles.


Stubbornness can be challenging, but it’s also a sign of a strong personality. With understanding, patience, and consistent guidance, you can help channel that stubbornness into positive attributes like determination and resilience.

 
 
 

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