How to Handle It When One Sibling Feels “Less Loved” Than the Other

Sibling dynamics can be tricky. Even in the most loving families, one child might occasionally feel like they're not the "favorite". While parents usually don’t intend to show preference, small things can be interpreted differently by kids. When one sibling feels less loved, it can lead to resentment, rivalry, or self-doubt.

Why This Happens:

• Different Personalities, Different Needs: One child might be more independent, while another needs more reassurance. The attention given to each can feel unequal, even if it’s just tailored.

• Comparisons (Even Unintentional Ones): Praising one child’s achievements without acknowledging the other’s efforts can plant seeds of insecurity.

• Birth Order and Roles: Sometimes the elder child feels burdened with responsibility, while the younger might feel babied. Both can misread your intentions.

What You Can Do :

• Acknowledge Their Feelings: Don’t brush it off with "Of course we love you!" Instead, say something like, "I hear you. Tell me what made you feel that way."

• Be Mindful of Praise: Praise effort over outcome, and personalize it. "I love how hard you worked on your drawing" feels more inclusive than "You're the artist of the family."

• Create One-on-One Moments: Even 15 minutes of uninterrupted time doing something they enjoy can make a world of difference.

• Avoid Labels: Terms like "the smart one" or "the quiet one" can stick. Kids grow and change—let them.

All kids want to feel seen and loved in their own way. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen.