My Child Feels Left Out, How Do I Help? A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Friendships

There’s nothing worse than seeing your child come home with slumped shoulders, quietly saying, "No one played with me today." It’s heartbreaking. As parents, we want to fix everything, but friendship struggles aren’t something we can solve overnight. What we can do is guide them through it, helping them build confidence and social skills along the way.

Why Kids Feel Left Out

Friendships at a young age can be unpredictable. One day, your child is best friends with someone, and the next, they’re suddenly “not invited.” Sometimes kids are naturally shy and struggle to join in. Other times, friendships shift, and they feel left behind. It’s important to help them understand that feeling left out is something everyone experiences at some point—and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them.

What You Can Do to Support Them

1. Listen Without Dismissing Their Feelings: Instead of saying, “It’s no big deal” or “Just play with someone else,” acknowledge their feelings. Try: “That sounds really tough. I’d feel upset too.” This helps them feel understood and encourages them to keep talking.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of assuming what happened, ask questions like:

   • “Did something change in the friendship?”

   • “Is there someone else you’d like to spend time with?”

   • “What do you think would make things better?” This helps them process their feelings and come up with their own solutions.

3. Teach Them How to Join In: If they struggle to make friends, role-play different ways to start conversations or join group activities. Simple phrases like, “Can I play too?” or “That looks fun, what are you guys doing?” can make a difference.

4. Encourage Friendships Beyond School: Help them build a wider social circle by joining clubs, activities, or playgroups outside of school. Sometimes a new setting brings new friendships.

5. Help Them See Their Own Worth: Remind them that their value isn’t tied to being included in one particular group. Encourage their hobbies and strengths so they feel confident even when friendships are rocky.

   

   
   

Friendship struggles are tough, but they also teach resilience. Let your child know that feeling left out is something everyone experiences, and friendships change over time. With your support, they’ll learn how to navigate social ups and downs—skills that will serve them well for life.