School Anxiety Is Real: How to Help Your Child Cope Without Pushing Them Too Hard

For some kids, school is exciting. For others, it’s a daily source of stress. If your child frequently complains about stomach aches before school, clings to you at drop-off, or melts down over homework, they might be struggling with school anxiety. And let’s be real, it can be tough as a parent to figure out how to help without making things worse.

Why Does School Anxiety Happen?

Kids can feel anxious about school for different reasons:

• Academic pressure – They’re worried about making mistakes, getting bad grades, or not being “good enough.”

• Social struggles – They feel left out, have difficulty making friends, or fear being judged by classmates.

• Separation anxiety – Some kids simply find it hard to be away from home or their parents for long hours.

• Sensory overload – For kids who are sensitive to noise, crowds, or structure, school can feel overwhelming.

  

  No matter the cause, forcing them to “just deal with it” rarely helps. Instead, kids need support to understand their feelings and build coping skills.

How to Support Your Child Through School Anxiety

1. Validate Their Feelings: Instead of dismissing their worries with “You’ll be fine,” try saying: “I can see that school is feeling really hard for you right now. Let’s figure this out together.”

When kids feel heard, they’re more likely to open up about what’s bothering them.

2. Help Them Prepare: If anxiety comes from the fear of the unknown, routines can help. Practice morning schedules, role-play social situations, or even visit the school before the first day. The more familiar something feels, the less scary it becomes.

   

   
   

3. Teach Coping Strategies: Give your child simple tools to manage their anxiety.

   1. Deep breathing exercises

   2. A small comfort item in their backpack

   3. A checklist of things they can do when they feel overwhelmed (ask for a break, drink water, take deep breaths)

4. Watch for Bigger Signs: If school anxiety is leading to frequent meltdowns, extreme avoidance, or physical symptoms like headaches or nausea, it might be time to talk to a teacher, counselor, or therapist. Early support can prevent anxiety from snowballing into a bigger issue.

   
   

   

   
   

   The Goal Isn’t to Remove Anxiety, It’s to Help Kids Manage It.

School anxiety won’t disappear overnight, but with patience, understanding, and the right tools, kids can learn to handle their worries and feel more confident. Instead of pressuring them to “just get over it,” help them take small steps toward feeling safe and capable at school.