Teaching Kids the Art of Active Listening: Helping Them Build Better Relationships.

Let’s face it, kids don’t always listen. Sometimes, it feels like your words go in one ear and out the other. But active listening is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. Teaching kids how to really listen not only helps them at home but also strengthens their relationships with friends, teachers, and everyone else they meet.

Show Them What Listening Looks Like: Kids learn a lot from what they see. If we’re scrolling on our phones or multitasking while they’re talking, they’ll pick up on that. Try to model good listening habits by giving them your full attention when they speak. Make eye contact, nod, and respond with questions like, “What happened next?”

I realized how much this mattered when my daughter came home from school one day, excited to tell me about a project she worked on. I was busy answering emails and only half-listening. She stopped mid-sentence and said, “Mom, you’re not even listening!” That hit me hard. Since then, I’ve made it a point to put my phone down and really focus when she talks.

Make It a Game: Listening doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Turn it into something fun! Try playing “Telephone,” where one person whispers a message to the next, or read them a story and ask questions about it afterward. Games like these teach kids to pay attention without making it feel like a lesson.

Teach Them to Pause Before Responding: Kids (and let’s be honest, adults too) often jump to respond without really understanding what the other person said. Encourage your child to pause for a moment before replying. One way to practice this is by asking them to repeat back what they heard before giving their answer. For example, if you say, “We’re leaving for the park at 3 PM,” ask, “Can you tell me what time we’re going?”

Celebrate When They Listen Well: When your child shows good listening skills, acknowledge it! A simple “I really liked how you listened so carefully when I was explaining that” can reinforce the behavior. Over time, they’ll start to see the value in being a good listener.

Active listening takes practice, but it’s one of those skills that benefits kids in every part of life. By showing them how to truly pay attention and connect with others, you’re setting them up for stronger relationships and better communication down the road.