The Fear of Disappointing Parents: How to Make Sure Your Child Feels Loved Beyond Achievements
- nishatutorology
- Apr 9
- 1 min read
Updated: May 20
Kids are incredibly intuitive. They pick up on your excitement when they score the winning goal, the pride in your voice when they get a perfect grade, and even the subtle disappointment when they don’t do as well as expected. And sometimes, without meaning to, parents send the message that their love is tied to success.
The Pressure to Be "Good Enough"
Many kids—especially those who are naturally sensitive or high achievers—start to internalize the idea that their worth is based on performance.
They might hesitate to try new things for fear of failure or stress over making a single mistake. Some even hide their struggles because they don’t want to let their parents down.
How to Reassure Them
Praise effort, not just results. Instead of saying, “Wow, you got an A!” try, “I love how hard you worked on this.”
Normalize mistakes. Share stories of times when you messed up and what you learned.
Show love beyond achievements. Celebrate their kindness, their curiosity, their ability to make you laugh—qualities that have nothing to do with success.
A child who knows they are valued for who they are, not just what they do, will grow up feeling secure, confident, and free to explore life without the fear of letting you down.
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