Why Kids Sometimes Prefer One Parent Over the Other (And Why It’s Not a Bad Thing)

It can sting a little—when your child insists that only mom can put them to bed or only dad is allowed to help with homework. Sometimes, one parent naturally becomes the “favorite” for certain tasks or moments, and it’s easy to feel rejected or left out. But here’s the thing: it’s not a bad thing, and it’s not a reflection of your relationship with your child.

Why It Happens

Kids form different connections with each parent based on personality, routines, and comfort. Maybe one parent is the go-to for fun and adventures, while the other is the safe space for big emotions.

Sometimes, it’s just about familiarity—if dad always does bath time, then that’s what feels “right” to them. Other times, it’s developmental. A toddler who is in a clingy phase might prefer mom simply because they associate her with comfort and security.

What You Can Do

Instead of feeling hurt, see it as a chance to understand your child’s needs. If they gravitate toward one parent for emotional support, the other can step in during moments of fun and bonding. If they always go to one for schoolwork, the other can find a different shared activity. Kids need both parents, even if their way of showing it isn’t always even.

And if you’re the “less preferred” parent at the moment? Don’t force it. Just stay present, offer connections in your own way, and trust that these preferences shift over time. Your child loves you—sometimes they just have phases of showing it differently.